The meaning of depression is really about loss; of enjoyment in everyday activities, of endearing friendships, of deep love, of inner drive, of ability to help others, of satisfaction from accomplishments and of anticipation of special events.
Depression means to twist us into Jeckyl and Hyde’s. Our loved ones do not know which version of our persona will surface at any time and neither do we.
Anyone who has ever experienced depression may desire to hit the accelerator of life in order to alleviate the pain. You wish the months and years of your life to pass away. You simply want to get life over with.
Depression may be caused by events in your lives, is temporary and will go away. However, for many of you the truth about the meaning of depression is that it is here to stay.
The battle of depression is fought in the trenches by untold numbers of families every day….families like yours. A losing battle with depression is difficult to accept especially for men who think they can fix things or women who love so deeply it hurts too much to see a loved one suffer.
Depression is really no different from alcoholism or many addictions. Even when someone manages to avoid relapse the addiction sticks around for life.
Depression affects every aspect of your life. The illness picks away at the quality of life. Everything suffers. Everything is less enjoyable and more wrought with fear and doubt; relationships, multitasking, solitude, crowds, new experiences, change, team-building…..
Depression causes you to consolidate gains in order to avoid losing what you already have. You don’t take chances. You never strive for more than you already have.
You don’t easily attain even the most basic human comforts; the comfort of friends, clear thinking, calm, tranquility, peace, steady mood, joy, gratitude and love. You must fight for these comforts that the rest of the population takes for granted. The daily battle you wage against the alien invader is much easier to fight when you are winning.
Depression is about limiting choices. Depression makes your choices for you. Possibilities are eliminated. You live in the box that depression places you in. Yet, you don’t want to throw things overboard from the sinking ship of life because the more things you throw off the ship the quicker it will sink. That’s the puzzle of depression.
You may have a strong intellect and high spirits. But the illness submerges these traits just like the clouds block the sun’s rays. Likewise, your spirit, charismatic before the onset of depression, can be beaten down and overcome by it. Your crushed spirit puts a damp cloth on your intellectual and emotional abilities. Life takes on a dull edge.
You must do things right away before you forget about them or how to do them.
Depression cuts away at the foundation of relationships. You think you want to be alone. You are afraid to be with other people yet you are too miserable to be left alone…another puzzle of depression.
You manage or camouflage your mood, particularly fear, irritability and sadness. You resist intimacy within yourself and your loved ones. You are afraid to let anyone get too close due to the discomfort you feel to your core.
Change is scary so the status quo remains even when it means staying in a bad situation.
After much pain, suffering and loss, I finally reached the top of the mountain. I will give in to depression no longer. Why not? Simply, I want my life to stand for something. I want my life, rather than the depression, to have meaning.
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